Words

This one is all about words. Words I love and words I hate. Words that I can’t decide whether it’s love or hate I feel. Words I wish never existed. Some words just sound cool rolling off the tongue, others sound as terrible as their meaning. Many of the words I love and hate have nothing to do with their definitions. It’s all about how they sound. But let’s face it, the definitions have a very strong influence on a lot of them. Read on.

Words I love:

Sasparilla (aka sarsaparilla)  – I want so badly to put on some chaps, some spurs, some teeny tiny boots, throw a cowboy hat on my head, walk into a bar and say, “Give me a tall glass of Sasparilla!” Just to see the bartender flip me off. Sasparilla is a fantastic word.

Haberdashery – Just try using that one in a sentence without defaulting to an English accent. Go on, try it. It is IMpossible to hillbilly up that word.

Intergalactic – Sounds even better when you over-pronounce the c that comes before the t and the c on the end. You might sound like a dick if you do that, but that's part of the fun.

Ambrosia – Hate hate hate ambrosia salad. Love love love ambrosia the word.

Xing – There is not a person alive who could win the road trip alphabet game without this beautiful word. Everyone should thank Xing, or we would never have gotten to Y and Z.

Rubbish – Trash to the Yanks = Rubbish to the Kiwis. One Christmas Eve after my big family opened all of their gifts, my husband grabbed a trash bag and said, (his accent is strong at times) “Chuck the rubbish in heeya.” We scratched our heads for a few minutes but since he had the trash bag as a visual aid, we eventually figured out what the hell he was talking about. Ever since, rubbish has been one of my favorites!

Winklevoss – Not a huge fan of the Harvard twin rowers or anything, just love that damn last name. It actually works much better paired with the word “twins”. Winklevoss twins. There you go, much better.

Kronosaurus – Coolest sounding and coolest underwater dinosaur EVER.

Cocksucker – Possibly the best cuss word.

Dane – as in Great Dane, Alexander Dane, and Hamlet is a Dane.

Words I don’t very much love:

Dane – as in Dane Cook. See, I 75% like the word Dane.

Bulbous – I can’t like it. It makes me think of William Shatner’s head.

Corpuscle – Don’t know what it is, don’t know what it does, don’t care, don’t like. The only thing it has going for it is that it sorta rhymes with Russell. But it will get no other grace from me.

Carbuncle – This is one of those awful words that has a definition just as terrible as the word itself. Don’t believe me? Google it, then click images. I double dog dare you! No, I triple dog dare you!!

Frothy – Now I might like this word if the image of a mug of Guinness popped into my head. Nope, no Guinness. Just people, knocking on death’s door, while horizontal on hospital beds with white foam coming out of their mouths. Frothy sucks as a word.

C.H.U.D. – Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. Need I say more?

Curdle – Terrible in every way.

Words I can’t decide how I feel about:

Glockenspiel – It’s either a really cool word, or the worst name for an instrument in the English language. I can’t decide.

Ferengi – Yeah, so the Ferengi have elephantitus of the head. Big deal. Their name still sounds kind of cool. The negative though is I can’t stop thinking about Ross Perot when I think of the Ferengi. And who the hell wants to think of Ross Perot?

Parched – My husband hates this word, but I use it a lot. So I have to put it on the questionable list just for his benefit. He always says, “Potched, what a load of rubbish! Why can’t ya just say yur thuuhsty?” I don’t know dude. I guess I just like to mix it up on occasion. Sorry. Geesh.

Schadenfraude – I bet I’d like it more if I could just fucking pronounce it. I’ve only ever seen it in writing. I think people are afraid to use it in speech because secretly, no one knows how to say the damn word!

Hippocratic – I don’t know about you but I think of hippos (the dancing ones in Fantasia to be exact) and ancient doctors with long white beards, togas and sandals. Two creatures that I am ambivalent about.

Words I wish never existed:

Octomom – No explanation needed I’m sure.

Balloon – But only when coupled with the word boy.

Linda Blair – Nothing against her. Just don’t like her name. She should change it or go back in time to turn down her Oscar nominated movie role in 1973. Then I might like her name.

Bruce Jenner – Nothing against his name. I just don’t like him. He should go back in time right after he won the Gold Medal and put the pieces of his nose back together then glue it back on his face. Dude don’t look right.

That’s it. I’m out of words for the night. Come back another time and maybe we can do math.